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CHAPTER XI
JOURNAL.
THE
correspondence which follows needs neither introduction or. comment. No
one who reads it will need to be told how remarkable it is. It was
Irving's first long separation from his wife, and his heart was opened and
warmed by that touch of mutual sorrow which gives a more exquisite
closeness to all love. This perfect revelation of a man's heart, and of a
husband's trust and confidence, is given by permission of the remaining
children of his house. It will be seen to begin from the time of his
leaving Kirkcaldy, after the sorrows above recorded. I" Annan, 18th
October, 1825.' MY DEAREST WIFE,-I am grieved that I should have missed
this day's post by the awkwardness of the hour of making up the bag at
noon precisely, beyond which I was carried, before I knew that it was
past, by the many spiritual duties to which I felt called in my father's
house and my sister's..... But I know my dear Isabella will not grieve
half so much on this account as I have done myself..... And now, having
parted with all the household, I sit down here, at the solemn hour of
midnight, to write you how it is with me, and has been since I left you,
first praying that this may find you and our dear babe as I left you,
increased in strength. "Andrew bore me company to Peebles, and will inform
you of my journey so far. We parted at two o'clock on the south side of
Peebles Bridge, and I took my solitary way up Glen Sark, calling at every
shepherd's house along my route, to obtain an opportunity of admonishing
mother and children of their mortality, and so proceeded till I set my
face to climb the hill which you must pass to get out of the glen-; in
ascending which, I had the sight and feeling of a new phenomenon among the
mountains, a terrible hail-storm, which swept down the side of the
opposite mountain, and came upon me with such a violence as required all
my force of hand and foot to keep erect, obliterating my meagre path, and
leaving me in the wildest mountain, wholly at a nonplus, to steer my way,
until the sun breaking out, or rather streaking the west with a bright
light, I found myself holding right east instead of south, and night
threatening to be upon me before I could clear the unknown wild. I was
lonely enough; but, committing my way unto the Lord, I held south as
nearly as I could guess, and reached the solitary house in the head of
another water, of which Sam may recollect something; where, forgathering
with a shepherd, I got directions, and set my breast against Black-house
heights, and reached my old haunts on Douglas Burn, where, in answer to
the apostolic benediction which I carried every where, I received a kindly
offer of tea, night's lodging, then a horse to carry me through the wet,
all of which in my haste refusing, I took my way over the rough grounds
which lie between that and Dryhope by Loch St. Mary. My adventures here
with the Inverness-shire herds and the dogs of Dryhope Tower (a perfect
colony, threatening to devour me with open mouth), I can not go into, and
leave it to the discourse of the lip. Here I waded the Yarrow at the foot
of the loch,' under the crescent moon, where, finding a convenient rock
beneath somt overhanging branches which moaned and sighed in the breeze, I
sam me down, while the wind, sweeping, brought the waters of the locl to
my feet; and I paid my devotions to the Lord in His own ample and
magnificent temple; and sweet meditations were afforded me of thee, our
babe, and our departed boy. My soul was filled with sweetness.'I did not
ask for a sign,' as Colonel Blackadder says; but when I looked up to the
moon, as I came out from the ecclesia of the rock, she looked as never a
moon had looked before in my eye-as if she had been washed in dew, which,
speedily clearing off, she looked so bright and beautiful; and on the
summit of the opposite hill a little bright star gleamed upon me, like the
bright, bright eye of our darling. Oh, how I wished you had been with me
to partake the sweet solacement of that moment! Of my adventure with the
shepherd-boy Andrew, whose mother's sons were all squandered abroad among
the shepherds, and our prayer upon the edge of the mountain, and my
welcome at the cottage, and cold reception at the farm-house, I must also
be silent till the living pen shall declare them unto you. Only I had
trial of an apostolic day and night, and slept sweetly, after blessing my
wife and child. Next day I passed over to the grave of Boston, at Ettrick,
where I ministered in the manse to the minister's household, and tracked
my way up into Eskdale, where, after conversing with the martyr's tomb
(Andrew Hyslop's), I reached the Ware about half an hour after George, who
had brought a gig up to Grange, and from that place had crossed the moor
to meet me; and by returning upon his steps, we reached home about eleven
-o'clock. But such weather! I was soaked, the case of my desk' was utterly
dissolved, and the mechanical ingenuity of Annan is now employed
constructing another. But I am well, very well, and for the first time
have made proof of an apostolical journey, and found it:to be very, very
sweet and profitable. Whether I have left any seed that will grow, the
Lord only knows. "l Many, many are the tender and loving sympathies toward
you which are here expressed, and many the anxious wishes for your welfare
and hope of seeing you, when, without danger, you can undertake it.... I
shall never forget, and never repay, the tender attentions of all your
dear father's household to me and mine. The Lord remember them with the
love He beareth to His own. I affectionately, most affectionately, salute
them all..... The Lord comfort and foster your spirit. The Lord enrich our
darling, and make her a Mary to us.... "Your most affectionate husband,
EDWARD IRVING." "Carlisle, 21st October, 1825. "MY DEAR ISABELLA, Thus
far I am arrived safely, and find that my seat is taken out in the London
mail to-morrow evening at seven o'clock. I left all my father's family in
good health, full of affection to me, and, I trust, not without faith and
love toward God. Mr. Fergusson, and Margaret, and the two eldest boys came
down from Dumfries on Wednesday, and added much to our domestic enjoyment,
which, but for the pain of parting so soon, was as complete as ever I had
felt it; for, though my heart was very cold, I persevered, by the force, I
fear, rather of strong resolution than of spiritual affection, to set
before them their duties to God and to the souls of their children. They
spoke all very tenderly of you, and feel much for your weal, and long for
the time when they shall be able to comfort you in person. Thomas Carlyle
came down to-day, and edified me very much with his discourse. Dr. Duncan
came down with CAM, who, poor lad, seems fast hastening into one of the
worst forms of Satanic pride. He desires solitude, he says, and hates men.
" Your short penciled note was like honey to my soul; and, though I have
not had the outpouring of soul for you, little baby, and myself which I
desire, I hope the Lord will enable me this night to utter my spiritual
affections before His throne. I am an unworthy mana poor, miserable
servant-unworthy to be a doorkeeper; how unworthy to be a minister at the
altar of His house! I shall write you when I reach London. Till then, may
the Lord be your defense, my dear lamb's nourishment and strength, Mary's
encouragement, and the sustenance of your unworthy head. Rest you, my
dear, and be untroubled till the Lord restore your health; then cease not
to meditate upon, and to seek the improvement of our great trial, which
may I never forget, and as oft as I remember, exercise an act of
submission unto the will of God. This is written at the fire of the public
room among my fellow-travelers. The Laird of Dornoch, Tristram Lowther the
willful, where I waited for the coach, expressed a great desire that, when
you came to the country, you would visit him.... "Your true and faithful
husband, EDWARD IRVING." "Myddelton Terrace, 25th October, 1825. " MY DEAR
WIFE, beloved in the Lord,-I bless you and our little child, and pray that
the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ may be with you and all the house. "I
reached London late (eleven o'clock) on Saturday night, by the good
preservation of God, to which, when I sought at times to turn the minds of
my fellow-travelers, I seemed unto them as one that mocked; but, though we
were a graceless company, we were preserved by the Lord. On our journey
there occurred nothing remarkable except one thing, which, for its
singular hospitality, I resolved to recount to you. Our road lay through
Rutlandshire, and half way between Uppingham and Kettering there appeared
before us, on the top of a hill, an ancient building, but not like any
castle which I had ever seen before, being low and irregular, and covering
a deal of ground, and built, you would say, more for hospitality and
entertainment than strength. I make no doubt, from the form of the
structure, it is as old as the Saxon times, and belonged to one of those
franklins of whom Walter Scott speaks in'Ivanhoe.'. Now mark; when our
road, swinging up the hill, came to the gate of this mansion, which was a
simple gate-not a hold, or any imitation of a hold of strength-to my
astonishment, the guard of the mail descended and opened the gate, and in
we drove to the park and gate of the castle, where they were cutting wood
into billets, which were lying in heaps, for the sake of the poor in the
village beneath the hill. One of these billets they laid in the wheel of
the coach, for the hill is very steep; and while I meditated what all this
might mean, thinking it was some service they were going to do for the
family, out came from a door of the castle a very kindly-looking man,
bearing in a basket bread and cheese, and in his hand a pitcher full of
ale, of which he kindly invited us all to partake, and of which we all
partook most heartily, for it was now past noon, and we had traveled far
since breakfast-from Nottingham..... So here I paid my last farewell to
ale, and am now a Nazarite to the sense. Oh that the Lord would make me a
Nazarite indeed from all lusts of the flesh!.... Remember this hospitable
lord in your prayers. He is my Lord Londes, and his place is Rockingham
Castle. The mail-coach hath this privilege from him at all times, and, I
understand, during the great fall of snow, he took the passengers in, and
entertained them for several days, until they were able to get forward. "I
arrived, I say, at eleven o'clock, and Alexander Hamilton was waiting for
me at the Angel, with whom I walked to this house of mourning, and found
Hall getting better, and all things prepared by his worthy wife for my
comfort. So here I am resolved to abide, and meditate my present trials
and widowhood for a time. But I forget not, morning and evening, to bless
you, and our dear little lamb, and Mary our faithful servant, and to sue
for blessings to you all from the Lord; and trulyI feel very lonely to
ascend those stairs, and lie down upon my lonely bed. But the Lord filled
me with some strong consolations when I thought that a spirit calling me
father, and thee mother, might now be ministering at His throne. I do not
remember ever being so uplifted in soul. Yesterday I travailed much in
spirit for the people, and preached to them with a full heart -that is,
compared with myself; but, measured by the rule of Christian love, how
poor, how cold, how sinful! This morning I have had the younger Sottomayor*
with me. Would you cause inquiries to * This was one of two brothers,
Spaniards, the elder of whom had been abbot of be made what likelihood
there is of his succeeding as a Spanish teacher in Edinburgh?.... Before
settinig out, I resolved to write you, however briefly, that your heart
might be comforted; for are not you my chief comfort? and ought not I to
be yours, according to my ability? I assure you, all the people were glad
to see me back again, and condoled with us with a great grief. The Lord
bless them with all consolations in their day of affliction. The church
was, as usual, very crowded, and I had much liberty of utterance granted
me of the Lord.... I desire my love to your dear father and mother, and my
most dutiful obedience as a son of their house. My brotherly affection to
all your sisters, who were parents to our Edward; and to our brothers, who
loved him as their own bowels. Oh, forget not any of you the softening
chastisement of the Lord. Walk in His fear, and let your hearts be
comforted. "Your most affectionate husband and pastor of your soul, "lEDWARD
IRVING. "' Say to Mary,' Pray for the Comforter, even the Spirit of truth,
which proceedeth from the Father.'" After his arrival in London his
letters take the form of a journal, commenced as follows: "Let me now
endeavor to express, for the information of my dear wife, and for her
consolation under our present sore trial, and for the entertainment of her
present separation from me, and the gratification of all her spousal
affections, and, by the grace of God, for the building up of her faith in
Christ, and her love toward her husband, whatever hath occurred to the
experience of my soul this day, and whatever hath occupied my thoughts in
this my study, and whatever hath engaged my activity out of doors; and for
her sake may the Lord grant me a faithful memory and a true utterance. "
26th. This morning I arose a little after seven o'clock, in possession of
my reason and of my health, and not without aspirations of soul toward the
communion of God, but poor and heartless when compared with those
experiences of the Psalmist, whose prayers prevented the dawning of the
morning, and his meditations the night-watches; and my soul being
afflicted with the a monastery, and had more than once been intrusted with
missions to Rome. He had been enlightened by a copy of the Bible in the
library of his convent, and after a while had been obliged to flee from
the terrors of the Inquisition. He could speak scarcely any English, but
was kindly helped to acquire it by the ladies of Mr. Irving's family. The
younger was a soldier, brought to Protestantism as much by love for his
brother as by love for the truth. Irving exerted himself in behalf of
both, and treated them with great and constant kindness. The abbe married
a lady whose confessor he had been, and whom he had insensibly led into
his own views, and, as a consequence, into persecution, but died early,
leaving his widow to the protection of his devoted brother. downwardness,
and wandering of spirit, and coldness of heart toward the God of my
salvation, in the morning, which is, as it were, a new resurrection, it
was borne in upon my mind that it arose in a great measure from my not
realizing with abiding constancy the Mediator between me and God, but
breaking through, as it were, to commune with him in my own strength,
whereby the lightning did scathe my soul, or rather my soul abode in its
barrenness, unwatered from the living fountain, in its slavery unredeemed
by the Captain of my salvation, who will be acknowledged before He will
bless us, or rather who must be honored in order that we may stand well in
the sight of the Father. When the family were assembled to prayers in the
little library (our family consists at present of Mrs. Hall, her niece, a
sweet young woman out of Somersetshire, and a servant-maid, and Hall, who
is not able to come down stairs till afternoon), Miss Dalzell* and her
sister came in to consult me concerning the unsuitable behavior of one of
the Sabbath-school teachers, who was becoming a scandal unto the rest of
the teachers, and had been a sore trouble to her, and whom Satan was
moving to trouble the general peace of the society. Under which
affliction, having given her what present comfort the Lord enabled me, I
refrained from any positive deliverance, or even hinting any idea, till
the matter should come before our committee, against which may the Lord
grant me and all the teachers the spirit of wise counsel to meet and
defeat this device of the Evil One. Hiow the tares grow up among the wheat
in every society, and, alas! in every heart! The Lord root them out of my
soul, though the pain be sore as the plucking out a right eye or a right
hand. After worship and breakfast I composed myself to read out of a book
of old pamphlets concerning the Revolution one which contains a minute
journal of the expedition of the Prince of Orange, for the Protestant
cause, into England, from the day of his setting out to the day of his
coronation; which, written as it is in a spiritual and Biblical style,
brought more clear convictions to my mind that this passage of history is
as wonderful a manifestation of God's arm as any event in the history of
the Jews, being the judgment of the Stuarts, the reward of the Orange
house, the liberation of the sealed nation from its idolatrous oppressors,
and the beginning of the humiliation of France, which went on for a
century and was consummated in the Revolution, of which the remote cause
was in the expensive wars * A lady who had been the means of establishing
a system of local Sabbath-schools. exhausting the finances, and causing
Louis XVI. to be a'raiser of taxes,' according to Daniel's prophecy. Oh
that some one would follow the history of the Christian Church, and embody
it in chronicles in the spirit of the books of Samuel! There is no
presumption, surely, in giving a spiritual account of that which we know
from the prophecies to be under spiritual administration. Afterward I
addressed myself to Bishop Overall's Convocation Book, concerning the
government of the Catholic Church and the kingdoms of the whole world,
which digests, under short chapters, the history of God's revelation, and
appends a canon to each; in the first twenty-two of which chapters and
canons I was astonished to find the full declaration of what had been
dawning upon my mind, viz., that the maxim, which, since Locke's time, has
been the basis of all government,' that all power is derived from the
people, and held of the people for the people's good,' is in truth the
basis of all revolution and radicalism, and the dissolution of all
government; and that governors and judges, of whatever name, hold their
place and authority of God for ends discovered in IIis Word, even as
people yield obedience to laws and magistrates by the same highest
authority. Also it pleased me to find how late-sprung is the notion among
our leveling Dissenters, that the magistrate hath no power in the Church,
and how universal was the notion among the Reformers and divines that the
magistrate is bound to put down idolatry and will-worship, and provide for
the right religious instruction of the people. That subject of toleration
needs to be reconsidered; the Liberals have that question wholly their own
way, and therefore I know that there must be error in it; for where Satan
is there is confusion and every evil work. " I went out into the garden to
walk before dinner, and with difficulty refrained my tears to think how
oft and with what sweet delightfI had borne my dear, dear boy along that
walk, with my dear wife at my side; but had faith given me to see his
immortality in another world, and rest satisfied with my Maker's will. Sir
Peter Lawrie called after dinner, and besought me, as indeed have many, to
go and live with him; but nothing shall tempt me from this sweet solitude
of retirement, and activity of consolation, and ministry to the
afflicted.... When he was gone I went forth upon my outdoor ministry, and
as I walked to Mr. Whyte's, along the terraces overlooking those fields
where we used to walk, three in one, I was sore, sore distressed, and
found the temptation to 'idolatry of the memory,' which the Lord delivered
me from, at the same time giving the clew to the subject which has been
taking form in my mind lately, to be treated as. arising out of my trial;
and the form in which it presented itself is'the idolatry of the
affections,' which will embrace the whole evil, the whole remedy, and the
sound condition of all relations. I proceeded to Mrs. S., and, being
somewhat out of spirits, was tempted of Satan to return, but having been
of late much exercised upon the necessity of implicit obedience to the
will of God, I hastened to proceed, and was richly rewarded in an
interview with the mother and daughter, wherein my. mouth was opened, as
was their heart, and I trust seed was sown which will bear fruit. Then I
returned home through the church-yard, full of softness of heart......
Upon my return home I addressed myself to a discourse upon the text,'To me
to live is Christ, and to die gain,' until the hour of evening prayer,
when I gathered my little flock, and having commended all our spirits and
all our beloved ones to the Father of mercies, we parted-they to their
couches, where I trust they now sleep in peace; I to this sweet office of
affection, which I now close with the deep closing knell of St. Paul's
sounding twelve in my ear. My beloved Isabella, you are sleeping upon your
pillow; the God of Jacob make it rich and divine as the pillow of
Padanaram! My little darling, thou art resting on thy mother's bosom; the
Lord make thee unto us what Isaac was to Abraham and Sarah!' Farewell, my
beloved I "27th October. I am so worn out with work that I fear it is a
vain undertaking to which I now address myself, of giving some account of
the day's transactions to my dear wife. I began the day with a sweet
exercise of private devotion, wherein the Lord gave me more than usual
composure of soul; and having descended, we read together the fourth
chapter of Job, and prayed earnestly that the Lord would enable us to
fulfill His will; at and after breakfast I read the seventy-third Psalm in
Hebrew, and in the Greek New Testament the first chapter of Hebrews; after
which I went to my solitary walk in the garden, and was exercised with
many thoughts which came clothed in a cloud, but passed encircled with a
rainbow. As I walked I employed myself in committing to memory some Hebrew
roots. Having returned to my study, I addressed myself to read two or
three additional chapters and canons in the Convocation Book, and am a
good deal shaken concerning the right of subjects to take arms against
their sovereign. Thereafter I labored at my discourse, in the composition
of which I find a new style creeping upon me, whether for the better or
for the worse I know not; but this I know, that I seek more and more
earnestly to be a tongue unto the Holy Spirit. My dinner being ended I
returned to my readings, and sought to entertain my mind with a volume of
my book of ancient voyages, which delights me with its simplicity. I had a
call from Mr. M -, and Dr. M with him. I was enabled to be very faithful,
and I trust with some good effect..... Then I went to church to meet my
young communicants and the spiritual part of my people. But of all that
passed, sweet and profitable, I am unable to write, with difficulty
forming my thoughts into these feeble words. The Lord send refreshing
sleep to my dear wife and little babe, and to His servant, who has the
satisfaction of having wearied himself in His service. Farewell! " 28th
October, Thursday. This day, my best beloved, has been to me a day of
activity and not of study, feeling it necessary to lie by and refresh my
head, whose faintness or feebleness hindered my spirit from expressing
itself last night to its beloved mate. My visions of the night were of our
dearly beloved boy, whose death I thought all a mistake or falsehood, and
that he was among our hands still; but this illusion was accompanied with
such prayers and refreshings of soul, and all so hallowed, that I awoke
out of it nowise disappointed with the sad reality; and having arisen, I
addressed myself to the cleansing of body and soul, and especially
besought the Lord for simple and implicit obedience to His holy will, of
which prayer, methinks, I have this day experienced the sweet and gracious
answer. At family prayers and breakfast there assembled Mr. Hamilton, our
brother; Mr. Darling, one of the flock, who came to consult concerning the
schools, for which they wish a collection, to which I am the more disposed
that all other means have failed; Mr. Thompson, the preacher who visited
us at Kirkealdy, and came to present me with his little religious novel of
The Martyr, a tale of the first century: opus perdifficile; Mr. M., curate
of our parish of Clerkenwell, who came to commune with me concerning
Sottomayor and the affairs of the parish, a:man of zeal, but I fear not of
much wisdom, yet devoted to the Lord; Mr. Johnstone, a young lawyer from
Alnwick, four years an inmate of Pears' house,* a Christian likewise, but
of the Radical or Dissenting-for-dissenting-sake school I trust * The
school-house at Abbotshall, Kirkealdy, referred to in Chapter IV.
Page 190
190 A
DAY IN THE CITY. men of God; and a sweet thought it is to me that the Lord
should encompass my table with His servants; for whose entertainment Mrs.
Hall (best and frugalest of housekeepers) had prepared a ham and other
eatables, with which, and tea not over strong, we were well pleased and
thankful to satisfy our hunger. After breakfast we set out (which had been
projected between Mr. Hamilton and me) to see the walls of the new church,
arising out of the earth in massive strength to more than the height of a
man, where we found Mr. Dinwiddie, with his daughters, of whom he would
not allow one to go to Edinburgh on a visit of months without having seen
it, to carry the reports of our work. This careful elder having pointed to
Mr. Hamilton the remissness of the overseer to be on his post betimes, we
proceeded to the city; I to visit the flock, they to their honest
callings. In Mr. 's hospitium of business and general rendezvous of
Caledonian friends, I wrote for Elizabeth Dinwiddie a letter of pastoral
commendation to Mrs. Gordon, through whom, wife of my heart and sharer of
my joys, you will find her out if you should be resident in the city. In
the room of shawls, muslin, and muslin-boxes, which your father found cool
as the refreshing zephyrs, there were four Greeks, negotiating with
Alexander, by the universal language of the exchange, the ten digits, for
one other common sign had they not. They were small, strong, well-built
fellows, turbaned, with black hair curling from beneath high skull-caps;
and yet, I think, though they had fire in their look, one or two English
seamen carry as much battle in their resolute faces as did these four
outlandish mariners. But I hastened to another conflict the conflict of
sorrow and sickness, in the house of our dear brother David, whose hurt in
his head threatens him grievously.... In my first visit I liked the
complexion of his sickness ill; he was then so moved and overacted by my
visit that we judged it best that I should not have an interview with him.
He had spoken much and delightfully to his excellent wife..... I gathered
the family together, and having spoken to them, we had a season of prayer,
from whence I proceeded to Mr. L , in order to exhort him and his wife
concerning their children, and especially concerning the Sacrament of
Baptism, which they sought for the youngest, two months old. They are two
saints, as I judge, and our communing was sweet. Thence I passed to
Whitecross Street, in order to visit an old couple, Alexander Ma- and his
wife (he whom we got into the pension society). they are sadly tried with
two sons, one of whom has fits of madness; the other, according to his
father's account,' has caught the fever of the day,' become infidel, which
he tells me is amazingly spread among the tradesmen. Having exhorted them
to zeal and steadfastness, I passed on to Sottomayor's, whom I found
correcting a Spanish translation of Doddridge's'Rise and Progress;' and
after much sweet discourse-for, dear Isabella, he proves well-his wife
came up, and he interpreted between us. She is perplexed most to give up
the honor of the Virgin-I should say the idolatry of the Virgin. I prayed
with them, as in every other placer and hastened home, expecting letters
from my Isabella, which I found not, at Pentonville. Thence I passed,
peeping at the bookstalls, and sometimes going a step out of my way, but
purchasing nothing, though sore tempted with St. Bernard's works, until I
reached Bedford Square, where I found the two proof-sheets with the
letter, which was like water to my soul. But one o'clock has struck.
William Hamilton came at six, when we went to St. Peter's.. After which,
returning home with sweet discourse, I assembled my family, and when I
prayed there wept one, I know not which (may they be tears of penitence
and contrition!); and having supped upon my cup of milk and slice of
toast, I have wrought at this sweet occupation till this early hour. And
now, with a husband's and a father's blessing upon my sleeping treasures-a
master's blessing on my faithful servant, and a son and brother's upon all
your house-I go to commit myself to the arms of Him who slumbers not nor
sleeps. Farewell. " Waltharnstow, 29th, Friday. This morning, my dear
Isabella, I excused myself a little longer rest by the lateness of my
home-returning last night and my weariness, which you will observe is not
right; for, unless there be some fixed hour, there can be no regularity,
of which the great use is to form a restraint upon our willfulness.
Moreover, I always find that the work of the Lord proceeds with me during
the day according to my readiness to serve Him in the morning. Oh, when
shall my eyes prevent the morning, that I might meditate in His law or
lift up my soul unto His throne! After our morning prayers, our friend Mr.
W. came in, much grieved in spirit by the vexations of the world, and the
mistreatments of one whom he thought his friend. But I told him that his
faith was unremoved and unremovable, and his wife and children spared to
him, and daily bread furnished out to them, therefore he ought not so
sadly to grieve himself.... I addressed myself to my main occupation of
preparing food for my people, beginning a lecture upon the first three
verses of the eighth chapter of Luke, which I sought to introduce by
giving a sketch, chiefly taken from the preceding chapter, of what kind
His ministry was likely to be in these cities, in which I think I had no
small liberty granted to my mind and to my pen, for which I had earnestly
besought the Lord in the morning. And having well exhausted myself by
about one o'clock, and brought the discourse to a resting-place, I judged
I could not do better than gather my implements and walk over to
Walthamstow, that I might have the more time with our afflicted
friends...... I pursued my road alone, reflecting much upon the emptiness
of all our expectations, and the transitoriness of all our enjoyments,
seeing that the last time I traveled that way I had pleased myself with
having found a road through the park, by which you and I and dear Edward
might oft walk out of a summer eve to see our friends; and now little
Edward and our esteemed friend are in the dust. Be it so. I praise the
Lord for His goodness, and so do you, my dearest wife. I found our dear
friends as I could have wished...... Having assembled the family, and
encouraged them to stand fast in the Lord and see his wonders, we joined
in worship, and the ladies retired, leaving me in this room, dear, and
sitting in the spot where our friend used so cheerfully to entertain
us.... Oh, Isabella, my soul is sometimes stirred up, and sometimes
languishes with much faintness, yet with a very faint as well as a very
fervent cry, I will entreat Him that I may be wholly His, in my strength
and in my weakness. I pray for you all continually. I bless you and our
dear babe night and morning, not forgetting Mary, whom I entreat to
advance, and not to go back.... Now, my dearest, how glad should we be
that the fresh, free air of our house was eminently servicable to Hall,
with whom it might have gone very hard in his confined place. The servant
is now about to leave us; and then we are Hall, his wife, his wife's
cousin, three most worthy people.... So be wholly at rest, my dearest,
concerning my comfort, and regulate your time wholly by consideration for
your health and dear Margaret's. The solitude does me good. It teaches me
my blessedness in such a wife, which I have much forgotten, but now, thank
God, forget not.... But time hastens, and my eyes grow heavy and my
conceptions dull. The Lord, who preserved the Virgin and the Blessed Babe
on their journey to Egypt, preserve my wife and babe, and bring them in
safety to their home, and their home in my heart. This night may His arms
be around you, and soft and gentle sleep seal your eyelids, and when you
awake may you be with Him. Amen. "29th, Saturday. "'Long have I viewed,
long have I thought, And trembling held the bitter draught; But now
resolved and firm I'll be, Since'tis prepared and mixed by Thee. "' I'll
trust my great Physician's skill, What He prescribes can ne'er be ill; No
longer will I groan or pine, Thy pleasure'tis it shall be mine. "'Thy
medicine oft produces smart, Thou wound'st me in the tenderest part; All
that I prized below is gone; Y)et, Father, still Thy will be done. "'
Since'tis Thy sentence I shall part With what is nearest to my heart, My
little all I here resign, And lo! my heart itself is Thine. "' Take all,
Great God. I will not grieve, But wish I still had more to give. I hear
Thy voice; Thou bidd'st me quit This favored gourd, and I submit.' "These
lines, my dearest, were brought in for the consolation of Mrs. I by the
two pious sisters in whom our departed friend used to rejoice so much. I
thought them so pious and obedient in their spirit that I immediately
copied them out for the consolation of Edward's mother. Dear Isabella, if
the fruit of our marriage had been no more than to give birth and being to
so sweet a spirit, I would bless the Lord that He had ever given you to my
arms. "I am in Dr. M 's back dining-room, so far on my way home..... So,
to place myself in the sweetest company which the world possesses for me,
I have taken my pen in hand. I know not how it is, my dear, that I find
not the communion I looked for in the company of Mrs. I -. Her mind is
fidgety or flighty, I know not which... So it is with me also, and with
all others who nourish their own will in its hidden places. An evidence,
my dear, of those who nourish their own will, is the carelessness which
they have in expressing their thought, and manifesting it to others. Being
manifest to themselves, they stop short, and heed not the farther
revealing it. How this has been my character, and that of Mrs. I-! Hence
our inability to enter into communion; for communion implies one common,
not two several minds. The true access and assurance of good society* is
the communion of the Holy Spirit, which if you cultivate, my beloved wife,
it will be well for you in all relations, and so also for me. As Christ is
the author of all true regulation of the mind, or understanding, or
reason, so the Holy Ghost is the author of all true love, and affection,
and communion, out of which all forms of society spring. But for Miss ]B,
I think her, so far as I can judge, a faithful and true disciple of the
Lord; rather, perhaps, over-theological, and not enough practiced in the
inward obedience of the mind. Oh, my dearest, this obedience is the
perfection of the Christian-obedience in the thought, obedience in' the
feeling, obedience in the action. Think much of this, for it i true, true!
As I came over these fields and marshes, and by tha running water, there
revived in me some effeminate feelings, whic' convince me that there is an
intimate connection between the sof er and more luxurious forms of nature,
and the softer passions G. the mind; for I am never visited with any such
fleshly thought; when moving through the mountains and wilds of my native
country; and, to my judgment, this tendency of visible beauty, variety,
and richness to cultivate the sensual part of our nature, which obscures
the intellectual and moral, is the true account that, being left to
themselves without religion, the people of the plains sink into lethargy
and luxury of soul far sooner than the people of the mountains. The eye
hath more to do with the flesh than any other sense, although they be all
its vile ministers. Oh, when shall I be delivered from these base bonds?
When shall I desire to be delivered, and loathe them with my soul? " Dr. M
interrupted me, and I now write by my fireside, whither the Lord has
conducted me again in safety, preparing all things for my reception. I
have finished both my discourses, and have had a season of discourse and
prayer with the three women whose tears are the tokens of their emotion.
Oh, that they may be saved!.. Dr. M~- pleases me not a little. He is an
exact, but formal man, yet he seems to possess more insight into theology
than I had thought. One discourse was profitable and full of argument. The
Universityt makes progress, and the good* Irving uses this word in the
Scotch sense-good company, fellowship. The social faculty is evidently
what he means. t London University, which was then being established, and
which, in consequence of the exclusion of religion, Irving strenuously
opposed. natured doctor thinks he has mellowed them into the adoption of
some measure defensive of religion. He pleases himself with the thought
that Dr. Cox can do every thing or any thing with Brougham.' The man who
thinks he hath Brougham captive hath caught a Tartar. He has more of the
whirlpool quality in him than any man I have met with; and he careth not
for wisdom, but for power only.' These were some of my exclamations in the
midst of the doctor's simplicity. Observe, Isabella, that the philosopher,
or lover of wisdom, is a grade higher than the lovers of power, or the
monarchs who have reached it. Hence, when a truly great man chances to be
a king, he desires wisdom moreover, as Alfred did, and others after, as
Justinian and Napoleon; 6lut no philosopher ever cared to be a
king-Pythagoras, or Plao, or Socrates, for instance. There are no
philosophers nowa-!ays, because they are all ambitious of power or
eminence. Even Basil Montagu is desirous of power-that is, his own will;
and Joleridge is desirous of power-that is, the good-will of others, or
the idolatry of himself. The Christian is both priest and king, a minister
of wisdom and a possessor of power. The rest I leave to your own
reflections. I had much earnest discourse with Mr. T- on our way home,
concerning his vocation. The Lord be his defense. And now, Edward Irving,
another day hath passed over thy head, and hast thou occupied the time
well? Art thou worthy of to-morrow? I have passed the day amiss, and am
not worthy of to-morrow. I have been in communion with myself. I have
loved myself better than another. I know not whether I have been
altogether temperate; and yet will I praise the Lord, for I have prayed
oft, and I have written my discourses in a spiritual frame of mind. But
oh! my meditations, why centre ye at home so much? Now may the Lord
prepare me for to-morrow's holy dawn, and all my people, and give me
strength to beget one unto Christ, whom I may call my son! How doth my
sweet daughter, my dear child? Thou seed of an immortal! the Lord make
light thy swaddling-band, and salvation thy swathing round about thee! And
thou, my most excellent wife! when shall these eyes behold thee, and these
lips call thee blessed, and these arms embrace thee? In the Lord's good
time. When Thou judgest it to be best, oh my God, direct them to a good
time, and conduct them by a healthy way. Thou doest all things well. And
this night encircle them with Thy arm where they lie, and bless the house
where they dwell for their sake. Make my wife like the ancient women, and
my child like the seed of the fathers of Thy Church. And, oh! that Thy
servant might be held in remembrance by the generation of the godly. Bless
also Thine handmaiden, our faithful servant. Even so, my family, let the
blessing of God encompass us all. " Sunday, 30th. This has been to me a
day to be held in remembrance, my dearest wife, for the strength with
which the Lord hath endowed me to manifest his truth. I pray it may be a
day to be remembered for the strength with which He hath endowed many of
my people to conceive truth and bring forth its fruitfulness. In the
morning I rose before eight, and having sought to purify myself by prayer
for the sanctification of the Sabbath, I came down to the duties of my
family; but, before passing out of m>? bedchamber, let me take warning,
and admonish my dear Isabell how necessary it is for the first opening of
our eyelids upon th sweet light of the morning to open the eye of our soul
upon il blessed light, which is Christ, otherwise the tempter will carry
u, away to look upon some vanity or folly in the kingdom of this world,
and so divert our souls as that, when they come to lift themselves up to
God, they shall find no concentration of spirit upon God, no sweet flow of
holy desires, no strong feeling of want to extort supplication or
groanings of soul, so that we shall have complainings of absence instead
of consolations of His holy presence, barrenness and leanness for
faithfulness and beauty. So, alas! I found it in the morning; but the Lord
heard the voice of my crying, and sent me this instruction, which may He
enable me and my dear wife to profit from in the time to come. After our
family worship, in which I read the first chapter of the Hebrews, as
preparatory to reading it in the church, Mr. Dinwiddie, our worthy and
venerable elder, came in as usual, and we joined in prayer for the
blessing of the Lord upon the ministry of the Word this day throughout all
the churches, and especially in the church and congregation given into our
hand; whereupon he departed, having some preparations to make before the
service, and I went alone, meditating upon that first of Hebrews, which
has occupied my thoughts so much all the week. We began by singing the
first six verses of the forty-fifth Psalm, whose reference to Messiah I
shortly instructed the people to bear in mind. In prayer I found much
liberty, especially in confession of sin and humiliation of soul, for the
people seemed bowed down, very still and silent, and full of solemnity;
then, having read the first of Hebrews, I told them that it was the
epistle for instructing them in the person and offices of Christ as our
mediator, both priest and king; but that it wholly bore upon the present
being of the man Christ Jesus, from the time that he was begotten from the
dead, not upon his former being, from eternity before He became flesh,
which was best to be understood from the Gospel by John, but for the new
character which He had acquired by virtue of His incarnation and
resurrection, and the relations in which He stood to the Church and to the
world, this epistle is the great fountain of knowledge, though, at the
same time, it throws much light upon His eternal Sonship and divinity, by
the way of allusion and acknowledgment in passing; that the purpose of the
epistle was to satisfy the believing lebrews, who were terribly assailed
and tempted by their unbe-.ieving brethren, and confirm them in the
superiority of Christ to -oses as a lawgiver, to Aaron and the Levitical
priesthood as a,riest, and to angels, through whose ministry they believed
that she law was given, as the apostle himself teacheth in his Epistle to
the Galatians. And therefore he opens with great dignity the solemn
discourse by connecting Christ with all the prophets, and exalts Him above
all rank and comparison by declaring His inheritance, His workmanship, His
prerogative of representing God, of upholding the universe, of purging our
sins by Himself, and sitting at the right hand of the majesty on high.
Then, addressing himself to his work, he demonstrates His superiority to
angels, in order, not to the adjustment of His true dignity-which he had
already made peerless-but to the exaltation of the dispensation which he
brought, above the former which was given by angels. This demonstration he
makes by reference to psalms, which, bythe belief of all the Jewish
Church, from the earliest times, were understood of Messiah, which
quotations, however, far surpass, infinitely surpass the purpose for which
they are quoted, placing Him, each one, on a level with God, to us, at
least, to whom that doctrine hath been otherwise revealed. But those
Psalms looking forward to Niessiah's glory can consequently have only an
application posterior to the time that He was Messiah, and that he was
Messiah in humility. Therefore, the' this day' is the day either of His
birth or of His ascension, the'first-begotten' is from the dead, and
the'kingdom' is the kingdom purchased by His obedience unto the death; and
hence the reason given for His exaltation is, because He hatbh loved
righteousness and hated iniquity. These trains of reasoning and quotation
being concluded, I challenged them to remark the sublimity of that from
the 102d Psalm, and thence took occasion to rebuke them very sharply for
going after idolatries of profane poets, and fictitious novelists, and
meagre sentimentalists, who are Satan's prophets, and wear his livery of
malice, and falsehood, and mocking merriment, while they forsook the
prophets of the Lord, and their sublime, pathetic, true, wise, and
everlasting forms of discourse. Then, having begun with a prayer that the
Lord would make the reading of this Epistle effectual to the confirming
their faith in Christ's character, offices, and work, and possessing them
of the efficacy thereof, I concluded with a prayer that the Lord would
enlarge our souls by that powerful word which had now been preached to us
of His great grace. " Then we sung the last verses of the 102d Psalm, and
prayec in the words of the Lord. The sermon* was from Phil., i., 21, tc
which I introduced their attention by explaining my object t, show them
the way to possess and be assured of that victory ovel death, of which,
last Lord's day, I showed them the great achievement (1 Cor., xv., 55-57);
then, having, in a few sentences, embodied Paul's sublime dilemma between
living and dying, I joined earnest battle with the subject, and set to
work to explain the life that was Christ, which I drew out of Gal., ii.,
20, to consist in a total loss of personality and self; and surrender of'
all our being unto Him who hath purchased us with His blood, leaving us no
longer'our own'-which condition of being, though it seem ideal and
unattainable, is nothing else than the obedience of the first great
commandment,'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God,' &c.; since to be so
identified, and at one with Christ, was only to be wholly in love with,
and obedient to the Father. Now this condition of life must insure to all
who have reached to it the same grace at death which Christ, the man
Christ, the Messiah, by His resurrection, attained to-or, if not wholly at
death, partially then, and wholly at the resurrection. For I argued from
the 2d of the Hebrews that whatever Christ attained to EHis people
attained to, and also from all the promises in the 2d and 3d of the
Revelations to those who overcome. This gave me great purchase upon the
subject, allowing me the whole scope of the contrast between * This
wonderful rgsum6 of the day's services will give a better idea than any
description of the lengthened and engrossing character of these
discourses, into which the preacher went with his whole soul and heart,
and of the extraordinary fascination which could hold his audience
interested through exercises so long, close, and solemn. Christ's
humiliation and exaltation; which having wrought according to my gift, I
then proceeded to show the vanity of any lower estimate of the life which
is'Christ' by touching many popular errors, such as place it in a sound
faith merely, or in a correct morality, or in a religious conformity,
against which having opposed the universality and unreservedness of
obedience, the thoroughness of redemption, and the perfectness of
regeneration, I told them and warned them of sad misgivings on a
death-bed, of desperate fears and hoodwinkings of the conscience, showing
them that the believer could not die hard, like the unbeliever, or
brutified, like the carnalist; and I prayed them, when these doubtings
came upon them, to remember that this day they had been warned by a
minister of the Gospel. I had a good deal of matter still remaining, but
Mr. Lee's child being to be baptized, and the quarterly collection to be
gathered, I stopped there, the place being convenient. "We sang the three
first verses of the 23d Psalm, and concluded. Mr. Hamilton walked home
with me, and we enjoyed much spiritual discourse. I refused to dine with
him, and also with Mr. Dinwiddie, and had my chop, which, being eaten with
thankfulness, was sweet. Benjamin shared with me, and was sadly afflicted
to hear of little Edward's death. I am sure it does not trouble you to
speak of our departed joy, else I would desist. I rested the interval,
meditating upon the 22d chapter of Genesis; and having gone forth, not
without prayer and thanksgiving, to my second ministry, I have reason to
give God thanks for his gracious support. From the chapter I took occasion
first to observe, in general, that it was for the instruction of families,
as the fount of nations, in God's holiness;... I observed how it was that
idolatry in the people and true piety in the king were found together,
even as, among the Roman Catholics, you have among the priests singular
saints, while the body of the people are rank and gross idolaters.... The
Lecture was upon Luke, xiii., 1; when I sought, first, to give the
character of our Lord's ministry in their towns and villages, deriving it
from the specimen of Nain, and other fragments from the preceding pages,
its munificence of welldoing, its public discourses, sifting and sounding
the hearers, its private ministrations in houses and families, improving
each to the justification and recommendation of a higher kind of ministry
than what presently prevails among us..... Such, dear, hath been my
employment this day, of which I give you this account before I sleep, that
you may be edified.... The Lord be gracious unto you, and to our little
babe, and to our faithful servant, for He regards me accountable for all
my household. Therefore I exhort you all to holiness and love. The Lord
reunite us all in peace and blessedness. "Mbnday, 31st October. I now sit
down, my dear Isabella, to give you the humble history of another day,
which, from yesterday's exhaustion, hath been a day of weakness. What a
restraint and hinderance this flesh and blood is upon the inflamed spirit,
and to what degradation that spirit is reduced which doth not beat its
weary breast against the narrow cage which confineth it. But to fret and
consume away with struggles against the continent flesh is rather the part
of discontented and proud spirits than of those who are enlightened in the
faith of Christ, to whom the encumbrance which weighs them down is a
constant memorial of the resurrection, and by the faith of the
resurrection soothed down into patience and contentment. Besides, the
bodily life is to them the period of destinies so infinite, and the means
of charities so enlarged, that it is often a matter of doubt and question
with them, as with St. Paul, whether it is better to depart and be with
Christ, which is far better, or to remain in the flesh, which is more
profitable to the Church. And I do trust that my abode this day in an
overstrained tabernacle hath not been unprofitable to that Church which is
the pillar and ground of the truth. It was a day devoted to private
conversations with those who propose, for the first time, to join
themselves to the Church at our approaching communion. When I came down to
breakfast, my table was spread with the welcome news of Anne P -'s
merciful delivery, which Mr. M had come to tell me of, but not finding
me, had written out. Sottomayor was waiting for me, and joined with us in
our morning worship. Hie is in good cheer, but in want of another hour's
teaching, in order to keep his head above water, which, I trust, will be
obtained for him by that merciful Providence which has watched over his
wife and him. By-theby, I had taken upon me the task of inquiring, while
in the north, what opening Edinburgh presented for his brother, the
soldier, which my various unforeseen duties hindered me from fulfilling.
Would you give that in trust to some one and let me know? I think
Sottomayor, the priest, is truly confirmed in the faith, and I have good
reason to think that the soldier is finding relief for the multitude of
his doubts. There came also to breakfast with me a Mr. M -- and a Mr. C -
(I think), of neither of whom I know any thing, except that the former had
met me in Glasgow. He has come to this town on adventure, like so many of
our countrymen, and came to me in his straits to help him to a situation,
leading with him, or being led by, the other lad. - I thought it hard
enough to be by so slight a thread bound to so secular a work; but looking
to the lad, and seeing in him an air of seriousness and good sense, and
thinking of his helplessness, I felt it my duty to encourage him; and
though I could not depart from my rule of not meddling with secular
affairs, and stated so to him plainly, I penciled him a word to Alex.
Hamilton to give him counsel. At the same time I declared to him what I
believe to be the truth, that this coming upon venture from a place we are
occupied well, and sustained in daily food from our occupation, merely
that we may rise in the world, is not a righteous thing before God,
however approved by our ambitious countrymen; and though it may be
successful in bringing them to what they seek, a fortune and an
establishment in the world, it is generally unsuccessful in increasing
them in the riches of the kingdom, in which they become impoverished every
day, until they are the hardest, most secular, worldly, and self-seeking
creatures which this metropolis contains. Let them come, if they have any
kindred or friends to whose help they may come, or if they be in want, for
then they come on an errand which the Lord may countenance; but let them
come merely for desire of gain, or of getting on, and they come at
Mammon's instigation, with whom our God doth not co-operate at all.... I
began the duties of the day at ten o'clock, with Mrs. C -, the woman whom
Lady Mackintosh recommended to you for a matron. She has been a mother of
tears, having lost, since she came to England, about twenty-five years
ago, husband, and child, and mother, and brothers three, and all her
kindred but one brother, who still lives in Buchan. The loss of her little
daughter, at six years of age, by an accident upon the streets, brought
her to the very edge of derangement, in the excess of her grief, so that,
like Job, she was glad when the sun went down, and shut out the cheerful
light from her eyes. But the Lord restrained this natural sorrow, that it
should not work utter death, as its nature is to do, in consideration, I
doubt not, of her faith, and for the farther sanctification of her soul...
She left Scotland without her mother's consent (why, I did not venture to
ask), and in six months her mother was no more to give or withhold her
consent, which made her miseries in England have something in them, to her
mind, of a mother's curse; and this, she told me, was bitterness
embittered. Tell this to all your sisters, that they may honor their
parents, and never gainsay their mother. Tell it also to Mary, and let
Mary tell it to her sisters; but withhold the woman's name; that, like
many other things I write, is to yourself alone.... This good woman, whose
face is all written over with sorrow and sadness, like Mrs. M's, had been
a member of Dr. Nicol's church till his death, whose ministry had been to
her a great consolation. Tell this to James Nicol when you see him; and
say that, now that he is inheriting his father's prayers, he must walk in
his father's footsteps, and comfort the afflicted flock of Christ, which
is our anointed calling, as it was that of our great Master. Obey this at
the commandment of your husband. This woman satisfied me well, both as to
knowledge and spirit, and I admitted her freely thus far. She is now a
sort of guardianservant to a lady in Bloomsbury, who has partial and
occasional aberrations of mind. The Lord bless her in such a tender case!
"My next spiritual visitants were the two Misses A-, whom I am wont to
meet at Mr. Cassel's, of whom the younger came to my instructions, drawn
by spiritual concern, the elder to accompany the younger, and thus both
have been led to come forward -I fear the latter still rather as a
companion than as a disciple. But oh! the difference; as a lad who has
just parted from me said,' Grace gives to the youth a fuller majesty,
without any petty pride,' so I found it here in the difference between the
living spirit of the one's conversation and words, and the shaped
formality and measured cadence of the other. I propose looking here a
little deeper; but as I have several days devoted to farther instruction,
I made no dernur at present, though I counseled them fervently and prayed
with them both. My next was a Miss S, from Johnstone, near Paisley, who
has come to London to be under her brother's medical care-a fine Scotch
head, with an art-pale countenance, and fine Grecian. outline of face; she
is a regular member of the Church in her native place, but out of her own
will came to speak with me; and, though feeble in strength, we were able
to commune and pray together to our mutual comfort. My last, at one
o'clock, was Mrs. R-., a widow lady of most devout and intelligent
appearance, who has been in the habit, for many months, of attending my
Wednesday ministrations, bringing a son or a daughter in her hand, with
the latter of whom: a sweet girl of about seven, she came attended. And we
joined in discourse, and I found in her a most exercised and tender
spirit, whose husband of her youth had been cut off from her in the East
Indies, and left her three sons and a daughter; the former she had now
come up to town to prepare for cadetships; afterward to return, with her
daughter, to the country again, to rear her in the fear of the Lord. And
of her eldest son, whom she had watched over with such care for six years,
having for that time lived with them in Beverley, for no other end but to
educate them herself, in which occupation she met with the healing of God
to her own soul in the midst of scoffers and deriders (whereof the memory
to mention drew tears from her eyes)-her eldest son, who had shown no
signs of grace under her most careful instruction, being now, like
herself, for the sake of the Hindostanee language, placed among the alien
as his mother was, has since shown such a new character, and written such
letters as she never expected to receive from him; and then she communed
with me of sweet domestic interests in such a devout and simple way, with
so many applications for instruction, and such a tender interest in two
half-caste daughters of her husband, whom she has cared for as her own,
that I delight to think what a sweet companion she will make for you, my
dearest, when you return. Thus passed a forenoon, not without its mark in
memory's chart. "I walked down to Mrs. M. -'s in order to inquire after
Anne........ But time forestalls my wishes, dear Isabella.'Twelve has
struck, and the sweetest, holiest scene of the day remains untold. I
prayed for a son, and the Lord this night hath brought me my son, Henry S,
a youth who called on me before my northern visit, and then showed tokens
of grace which I had not time to consider; but this night, though but an
apprentice, he hath, being the last of my visitants, showed such wonderful
seriousness of mind, soberness of reason, purity of life, and richness of
character, as far outpasses in promise any youth that I have been the
means of bringing unto Christ. And when at nine we assembled to prayer,
and Hall showed his pale, emaciated face, and head but sprouting again
from the shaver's razor, along with the rest of my household, and I gave
him my easy-chair in consideration of his weakness, oh, Isabella, I felt
like a priest and a patriarch! and the Lord enabled us to have one of the
sweetest occasions of praising Him and serving Him which for a long time I
have enjoyed; so that we parted bedewed with tears from our prayers, in
which we never forgot you and our separated family; after which, while I
partook of my usual repast, I glanced at that very remarkable
article'Milton,' in the'Edinburgh Review,' which came in from the library.
I take it to be young Macau. lay's. It is clever-oh, it is full of
genius-but little grace. Theology of this day-politics of this day-neither
sound. Oh, envious Time, why dunnest thou me? I write to my wife to
comfort and edify her, and bless her, and my babe, and my servant, and all
my kindred of her father's honorable and pious house. Well, I come.
Farewell, my dear wife. "November 1st, Tuesday. The command of King George
could not have made me take a pen in my hand this night, dearest Isabella;
and now that I have taken it in hand, I exceedingly question whether this
weary head will drive it over another line. But, dear, your thanks with
me! I have had such a harvest of six precious souls, whose spiritual
communications have carried me almost beyond my power of enduring delight.
The Lord doth indeed honor me. But, ah! this will not do; I must leave
off. Tomorrow, the Lord sparing me, I will set forth the particulars to my
Isabella, whom, with my dear daughter, may the Lord this night preserve.
"2d, Wednesday. It was well-nigh nine o'clock before I was recruited this
morning with strength enough to go forth to my labors; for these mental
and spiritual labors, being in excess, do as truly require an extra
quantity of rest as do bodily and social labors. But I have risen, thank
God, well recruited, and have proceeded thus far on the day (five o'clock)
very prosperously. The first of my communicants yesterday was a Mary B,
from iatton Garden, a young woman of a sweet and gracious appearance and
discourse, who, with her mother and a numerous family, were early cast
upon God's care, who hath cared for them according to His promise. I was
much pleased with the simplicity and sincerity of her heart, and the
affectionate way in which she spoke of her Lord; so that she left no doubt
on my mind of her being, to the extent of her knowledge and talents, a
faithful and true disciple. I shall seek another interview with her; for I
do not feel that I have got acquainted with her spirit, or else it is of
so simple and catholic a form as to have no character to distinguish it.
The next was my old acquaintance, Sarah Evans, the wild girl, who was
somewhat carried in her mind, if you remember, in the beginning of a
sermon, and whom I visited at Dr. -'s, in I little expected to see
her so soon, and so completely restored, although she still gives one the
idea of one on whom our friend Greaves would work wonders by animal
magnetism. I have a moral certainty that this is her temperament, and that
her temporary instability was rather a somnambulism of the spirit than any
insanity or derangement of mind. Since her seventeenth year she has been a
denizen of this great hive of men, friendless and without kindred, and has
partook the watchful care of the Great Shepherd. She is a spirit full of
inspirations. Heer very words are remarkable, and there is a strange
abundance and fertility in her sayings which astonishes me. She has
already had much influence on her fellow-servants, who have banished cards
and idle, worldly books. Poor Sarah (and yet thou art not poor), I feel a
strange feeling toward thee, as if thou wert not wholly dwelling upon the
earth, nor wholly present when I converse with thee. And sure it is, dear
Isabella, she has always to recall herself, as from a distance, before she
answers your inquiries; and even the word is but like an echo. Of her
spirituality I have no doubt, though still she seems to me like a
stranger. Her master at present is Dr. HE, one of my brother's medical
teachers here, who inquires at her occasionally about my brother and about
the Caledonian church, from which I presume that every one recognizes in
her the same unlikeness to another and to her station. "These occupied me
till eleven o'clock, after which I went forth to breathe the air into the
garden, in expectation of another visitor; and, as usual, for his memory
hangs on every twig, the little darling whom I used to fondle and instruct
came to my remembrance, and bowed me down with a momentary sorrow, which
passed, full of sweetness, into what train of thought I have now
forgotten. I occupied myself with my Convocation Book, which is to me what
a politician and Christian of the year 1600 would be if I could have him
to converse with me and deliver his opinions. It embodies the ideas of the
English Church in full convocation upon all points connected with the
government of the Church and of the world, and hath done more than any
other thing to scatter the rear of radicalism from my mind, and to give me
insight into the true principles of obedience to government. There are, my
dear, certain great feelings or laws of the soul, under which it grows
into full stature, of which obedience to government is one, communion with
the Church is another, trust in the providence of God another, and so
forth, which form the original demand in the soul, both for religion, and
law, and family, and to answer which these were appointed of God, and are
preserved by His authority. My notion is, that the ten commandments
contain the ten principal of these mother-elements of a thriving
soul-these laws of laws, and generating principles of all institutions.
These also, I think, ought to be made the basis of every system of moral
and political philosophy. But all this is but looming upon my eye, and
durst not be spoken in Scotland, under the penalty of high treason against
their laws of logic and their enslaved spirit of discourse. By-the-by,
when I speak of Scotland, it was about this time of day when I received a
letter from Dr. Gordon, asking me to preach a sermon in some chapel which
Dr. Waugh has procured for the Scots Missionary Society, and bring the
claims of that Society before the great people of London. I mean to answer
it by referring them to my Orations on the Missionary Doctrine, as being
my contribution to the Society.... But I must go to the church to preach
from John, xiv., 27. The Lord strengthen me. " And now, having enjoyed no
small portion of His presence for one so unworthy, I return to my sweet
occupation of making my dear Isabella the sharer and partner of my very
soul. From the garden, where I communed with the canons of the
convocation, and with my own meditations on these elemental principles of
wisdom, I returned, and upon looking over my paper, I found I had no more
visitors till five o'clock; so I addressed myself to my discourse, which I
purposed from Gal., ii., 20, in continuation and enlargement of that from
Phil., i., 21; but, going into the context, I was drawn away to write
concerning the Church in Antioch, which occasioned the dispute between
Paul and Peter, until I found it was too late to return, so that my
discourse has changed its shape into a lecture, and where it will end you
shall know on Sabbath, if the Lord spare me. At five came a young man, by
name Peter Samuel, of a boyisi appearance, very modest and backward, a
native of Edinburgh, and by trade a painter in grain; in whom, Isabella, I
found such real utterance of the Spirit, such an uplifted and enlarged
soul, that I could but lie back upon my chair and listen. The Lord bless
the youth! It was very marvelous; such grace, such strength of
understanding, such meekness, such wisdom! He is also one of the fruits of
my ministry; had wandered like a sheep without a shepherd,' creeping by
the earth,' until, in hearing me, he seemed exalted into the third
heavens,-at times hardly knowing whether he was in the body or out of the
body.'And all the day long, at my work, I am happy, and in communion with
the Church, which is every where diffused around me like the air;' and he
arose into the mysteries of the Trinity, and his soul expatiated in a
marvelous way. At six I had made double appointments; the one for James
Scott, a stately, bashful lad from Earlston, on the Leader, between Lauder
and Melrose-the residence, in days of yore, of Thomas the Rhymerwho is
come to town to prosecute his studies as an artist. He is already in full
communion with the Church, but loved the opportunity of conversing with
me; and the other was of two who desire to come in company, John R , a
man of about thirty-five, and C , a young lad of about twenty. Moreover,
Samuel had not departed; and I think they had been congregated of the Lord
on very purpose to encourage my heart and strengthen my hands, for it is
not to.be told what a heavenly hour they spent in making known the doings
of the Lord to their souls; and the two latter told me that every Sabbath
they held meetings, before and after church, with others of the Church.
Poor Samuel had been lamenting his loneliness, but now his soul was filled
with company who welcomed him to their heart; and Scott had now one whose
spirit and manners attracted him; and I was lost in wonder how the Lord
should work such things by my unworthiness. But remembering my ministerial
calling, I opened to them the duty of self-denial in the expression of our
spiritual experiences before the world, lest they should profane these
sanctuaries of our God; and the necessity of wisdom to veil with parable
and similitude, before the weak eye of man, the brightness of the pure and
simple truth, reserving for the Lord and for his saints the unveiled
revelations of our higher delights. Upon which life, having enlarged to
their great seeming contentment, we joined our prayers together, and they
departed. Now these men who thus commune together are of most diverse
ranks.' C is a gentleman's son; R , though of high expectations, has been
reduced to fill some inferior office in Clement's Inn; and the others,
whom I know, are Scotch lads, working as journeymen; so true is it that
there is no difference in Christ Jesus. After seven I went to the meeting
of the Sabbath-school teachers... After I returned home, I wrote a letter
to Constantinople to L , who sends us the figs, exhorting him to stand
fast among the alien; which altogether was a day of such exhaustion as
unfitted me for writing to you the particulars of it, that you might
rejoice in my joy, and give praise unto the Lord, when you know the
blessing which He is pouring out upon my ministry. Oh that He would give
me food for these sheep, and a rich pasture, and a shepherd's
watchfulness, and the love of the Chief Shepherd, that I might even die
for them, if need were! In all which spiritual conditions I am much
encouraged by what yesterday the Lord brought before me. " And now,
dearest, this day hath been a day of thought which has hardly yet taken
form to be distinctly represented; but on Sabbath I will communicate the
result. Only I have had much insight given me into the Epistle to the
Galatians, from which the matter of my discourse will be taken. At six I
went forth to my duties, and opened to my children the nature of the
Christian Church, as being to the world what the new man is to the old;
what the body, after the resurrection, is to the present body... After
which, commending them to the grace of God, I returned to the vestry, and
came forth again to discourse to the people of Christ's bequest of
peace.... But, though my head could thus rudely block out the matter, I
wanted strength and skill to delineate it as it deserved, which, if I be
in strength, I shall do it another time.... After the lecture, ten more
came, desirous to converse with me; so that I shall have, by the blessing
of God, a very rich harvest this season.... The Lord be with thy spirit. "
Thursday, Nov. 3d. Last night, my dearest Isabella, upon my bed I had one
of those temptations of Satan, with which I perceive, by your affectionate
letter, that you are oft troubled, and which I shall therefore recount to
you. The occasion of it was the memory of our beloved boy, who hath now
got home out of Satan's dominion. That morning he was taken by the Lord I
was sleeping in the back room, when dear sister Anne, who loved him as
dearly as we all did, came in about three or four o'clock in the morning,
and said,'Get up, for Edward is much worse.' The sound of these words,
caught in my sleeping ear, shot a cold shiver through my frame like the
hand of death, and I arose. Of this I had not thought again till, last
night on my bed, before sleeping, Satan seemed to bring to my ear these
words; and, as he brought them, the cold shiver trickled to my very
extremities. I thought to while it away, but it was vain; and I remembered
that the only method of dealing with him is by faith, and of overcoming
him by the word of God. So I took his suggestion in good part, and
meditated all the sufferings of the darling, which are too fresh upon my
mind; and sought to ascend, by that help, to the sympathy of our Lord's
sufferings, and to take refuge (as the old divines say) in the clefts of
His wounds till this evil should be overpast. Whereupon there came sweet
exercises of faith, which occupied me till I fell asleep, and awoke this
morning in the fear of the Lord. I make Mondays and Thursdays my days of
receiving friends; and while we were engaged with worship, Mr. Ker came
in, and, after, prayers, Mr. C. I was happy to understand from the former
that Mr. Cunningham, of Harrow, has become a violent opponent of the
expediency principle in respect to the Apocrypha,* and think the-
committee will come to the righteous conclusion, which will please our
good father much. Mr. C came on purpose to communicate the dying
injunction of a friend who had been converted from Unitarianism by my
discourse on that heresy last summer, and had died full of faith and joy
before fulfilling his purpose of joining my church. I trust he hath joined
our Church of the first-born, whose names are written in heaven. As we
went to the city together, Mr. Ker bore the same testimony to the blessing
of my discourses to his soul, for which I desire you to give thanks unto
the Lord when you pray secretly, or with Mary, for it is a great blessing
to our household to be so honored. I found our friend David at length able
to see me again, who has passed through a terrible storm of afflictions,
swimming for his life, and tried with great agony of the body; but in his
soul above measure strengthened and endowed with patience, and full of
holy purposes and continued acknowledgment to the Lord.... His wife, and
Martha her sister, bore testimony to the goodness of the Lord, and we
joined our souls in thanksgiving with one accord. "Thence I went on my way
to our friends, the G-'s, who now live in America Square, toward the
Tower. I know not how it is, but I feel a certain infirmity and
backwardness to speak to Alex. G concerning spiritual things, though I
love him, and believe that he loves the truth; against which, by the grace
of God, I was enabled in some measure to prevail, and make some
manifestation of the truth, and unite in prayer, which had the effect of
bringing him to signify his purpose of waiting upon me * Referring to the
hot and bitter conflict then going on in the Bible Society, chiefly
between the parent society in England and its Scotch auxiliaries, which
were vehemently opposed to the insertion of the Apocrypha along with the
canonical Scriptures.
(I
suppose concerning the communion). The Lord receive this worthy and
honorable youth into the number of his chosen! Thence returning, I felt an
inclination to pay a visit to Miss F -, in Philpot Lane, but resolved
again to proceed on more urgent errands, and passed the head of the lane,
and was drawn back, I know not by what inducement, and proceeded against
my purpose. It was the good will of the Lord that I should comfort one of
His saints, and He suffered me not to pass. I found the mother of that
family, who has long walked with God, and travailed in birth for the
regeneration of all her children, laid down by a confusion in her head,
which threatened apoplexy or palsy, and now for three days afflicted,
without that clear manifestation of the Holy Comforter which might have
been expected in one so exercised with faith and holiness. Many of the
friends and kindred were assembled in the large room below, and the father
and the children; to whom having ministered the word of warning and
exhortation, and prayed with one accord for the state of the sick, I went
up to her bedchamber with the father and daughters, and found the aged
mother lying upon the bed more composed than I had expected. I taught her
that Christ was the same, though her faculties were bedimmed; that her
soul should the more long to escape from behind the dark eclipse of the
clouds; but not to disbelieve in His mercy, because her body burdened her,
and caused her to groan. We bowed down and prayed, and the Lord gave me a
large utterance; and when I had ceased, I could not refrain myself from
continuing to kneel, and hold the hand of the dear saint, and comfort her,
and utter many ejaculatory prayers for her soul's consolation; and I was
moved even to tears for the love of her soul; with which having parted,
her daughters, who remained behind, came down and told us that she was
much comforted, and had proposed to compose herself to rest. The Lord rest
her soul, and prepare it for His kingdom, though I hope she may be
restored again to health.... "Thence I proceeded to Bedford Square, by
Cheapside, and gave Mr. Hamilton charge of your letter, which may you
receive safe, and with a blessing, for it is intended for your comfort and
edification in the faith, that you may know the goodness of the Lord to
your head, and rejoice and give thanks. On my way to Bedford Square I
called at Mr. Macaulay's, having heard that he and his wife were poorly,
and with a view, if opportunity offered, of saying a word to their son
concerning Milton's true character, if so be that he is the author
of that critique. For I held with him once, but now am assured that
Milton, in his character, was the archangel of Radicalism, of which I
reckon Henry Brougham to be the arch-fiend. But I found they had gone to
Hannah Moore's for retirement and discourse. The Lord bless their
communion! I called at Mr. Procter's to look at two marvelous heads by
Correggio-the one of the Virgin about to be crowned with stars, the other
of St. John; certainly, beyond comparison, the most powerful heads I have
ever seen. The latter, they say, is a portrait of me. But I do not think
so. I can not both be like the Baptist and the beloved apostle; I would I
were in spirit, for the flesh profiteth nothing. Anne P~ and the child
continue to do well, and the poet is already a very tender father....
The,ounselor and I had a good deal of private discourse.....He is a tender
father and a well-meaning man, but willful; and willfulness, dear
Isabella, is weakness and inutility, the excess of will being to the same
effect as the defect of will. Yet I love him, and he loves me, and permits
me to open truth in a certain guise to his ear. The Lord give me wisdom,
if it were only for this family! I returned home to peruse Eckhard's'Rome,'
and to worship with my family, and read the Holy Scriptures, and conclude
by writing the summary of the day to my dear wife. And now I return to my
chamber, thankful unto Thee, oh my Father, who hast protected thine
unworthy child, and not allowed him this day to stray far from thy
commandments. Thou hast made me to know Thee; Thou hast exercised my soul
with love and kindness; Thou hast called me out of the world by prayer. I
bless Thee, oh my God; I exceedingly bless Thee! And now, my tender wife,
go on to seek the Lord; wait upon Him; entreat Him; importune Him. Do not
let Him go till He give thee thy heart's desire. And thou, Margaret, my
sister, submit thy strong spirit unto the Lord, and thou shalt find peace.
And Elizabeth, my sister, persevere in the good part which thou hast
chosen, and thou wilt find all that is promised to be true and faithful.
And, my lovely Anne, be composed in thy spirit by God, who will deliver
thee from all things that disconcert and trouble, and make thy spirit
lovely. And, my David, remember our covenants of love with one another,
wherein thou wert oft moved to desire God. Oh, forget Him not, my
children! Walk before Him, and be ye perfect.... May He keep us as the
apple of the eye, and hide us under the shadow of His wings this night;
and when we awake in the morning, may we be satisfied with His likeness! "
Tuesday, Nov. 4th. I feel it necessary already to be on my. guard against
the adversary, lest he should convert these journals, intended for the
comfort of my dear wife, into an occasion of selfdisplay or self-delusion;
and the more, because I have been singularly blessed by the goodness of
the Lord, which, you would say, was the best protection against him; but
the Lord judged otherwise when, after enriching Paul with such
revelations, he saw it wise to give him a thorn in the flesh, a messenger
of Satan to buffet him, lest he should be exalted above measure. Therefore
let me watch my pen, and the Lord watch my soul, that nothing pass thence
to the eye of my partner which may in any wise convey a false impression
of my heart. I have resumed my custom of reading the lessons of the day,
besides the Psalms, whatever else I may read out of the Holy Scriptures,
and. was struck, in reading out of Ecclesiasticus, with the odor of
earthliness which there is about the wisdom of it. It is rather shrewd
than divine, and, I am convinced, has little heavenward drift in it to the
soul. But how much more spiritual than the maxims of Rochefoucault, or any
other modern who has sought to express himself by aphorisms! I was in
great danger of falling under the spirit of indolence after breakfast, and
loitering. The sensation about my eyes, which foretells a listless day,
made its appearance, and I felt inclined to stretch my limbs, and take up
a book at hand, and while away the time. But I thank God who enabled me to
withstand the enemy, and stir myself up to study, which I prosecuted with
a view to my morning sermon. This is beginning to take shape, and will
form, I judge, a digest of the Epistle to the Galatians, or a statement of
the apostle's argument for the abolition of the law and the liberty of
faith, in order to my afterward showing our deliverance from the forms of
the world into the liberty of Christ. "This was a fast-day to me, at least
a soup-day, which Ijudged good for my health, so that I felt languid the
whole forenoon until four, when Miss A - called to conduct me to her
house. The two Miss A 's joined our Church at the last communion. Their
mother had died some months before, and they are orphans. They win their
bread by the needle, and dwell with two younger brothers, whom they wished
me much to converse with. Those two brothers have no one over them, and
are as wild as the beasts of the wood. Though only fifteen and seventeen,
I was perfectly amazed at the irreverent, thoughtless way in which they
behaved when I entered-nothing awed, nothing moved, but full of conceit
and self-possession. The eldest is a clerk in a writer's (AnglOcg,
attorney's) office; the younger is a sort of clerk to a councilorone to
keep the door of his office open, and to go errands-for whom his master is
glad to find something to do. Oh! what a horrid effect London has upon the
character of children! It is only beginning to be revealed to me in its
native deformity. The awful iniquity of a great city is nothing to its
silent effects in deteriorating the races of men. They really dwindle as
if they were plants. I saw at once that if I was to be profitable to these
two lads, it was by authority as well as by affection; so I resolved to
teach them the reverence of God, and of God's word, and of God's
messenger. The eldest sat over against me on the other side of the fire,
the two sisters working at the table, and the youngest beyond the table,
and he would not be persuaded to come near me. I opened my way by speaking
of their orphan state, and their want of counsel and authority over them.
Then I passed to the authority of God, and opened the tendency of youth to
be headstrong and untamed. The eldest, I perceived, was full of
observation and thought. He could not divide the matter between the
authority and affection with which I spoke. By degrees I got him to open
his mind, which was very willful. I continued to oppose to his whims the
will of God, and would not lower the discourse to any compromise, or
indulgence to any of his moods. His brother had to go away earlier; and
after getting him to sit beside me, I spoke to him with great earnestness
and affection, and blessed him; but whether he was moved from his indolent
and lethargic obstinacy, I know not. Then with the eldest I dealt for
another hour, in various discourse, which I am now too weary to recall.
And when I knew not what impression I had made upon his short and hasty
temper, which I saw writhing between the awe of the truths which I spoke
and the irritation of the mastery which I held over him, the lad rose from
his seat, and went to a press and took out a parcel, from which he drew
forth a set of beautiful little prints of Bible subjects, and asked if I
had seen them, I answered no. Then, said he,'Will you accept them from
me?' I hesitated; but perceiving it was altogether necessary, if I would
have any farther dealing with this strange spirit, I took them, and here
they are before me. Upon which, his hour of seven having come, he went his
way.... I am weary, but very well, and give the Lord thanks for his
goodness, praying Him to strengthen me with rest. St. Pancras is ringing
up the hill twelve o'clock, so the Lord compass you and my beloved child.
Farewell! "ASaturday, Nov. 5. I had all arranged to finish this sheet and
send it off to-night; but James P is come, and has occupied me so much,
and the Sabbath is now on the verge of coming in, and I have much before
me, therefore I delay this day's summary till to-morrow evening, if God
spare me. But that I might not go to bed without blessing you and our
tender lamb, I have taken up my pen to write -That the Lord God, whom I
serve, would be the guardian of my wife and child until He restore them to
the sight of his servant. Amen. " Sabbath, Nov. 6. And now, my dearest
Isabella, I am alone with thee again, and can give thee the news which are
dearest to thy heart, that the Lord hath not deserted His unworthy servant
this day, but hath been, especially in the evening, present to my soul,
and given me a large door of utterance, I trust to the edification of His
Church and the comforting of His people. Yesterday I had labored all the
morning with a constant and steady diligence, and about one o'clock was in
full sight of land, with strength of hand still left me to have finished
this letter, and so cheated the lazy post, when, as I said, James P1-
stepped in; in whom, to be brief, I find we shall have a most easily
accommodated inmate, if so he likes to become, and a very shrewd, logical
companion, full of political economy and of mathematics, who can not help
stating every thing as if it were a question to be resolved by the
Calculus, and can not conceive of any ideas or knowledge which are to be
otherwise come atthan by the methods of the intellect; which error I have
labored hard to correct in him, and not, I believe, without some partial
success. He is one of the coolest, shrewdest intellects I have ever met
with sweetly disposed, very gentle, and easily served.... My morning
lesson this day was the 2d chapter of the Hebrews, in which is taught us
this great lesson, that we shall partake with Christ in the government of
the world to come, which I take to be the same with the'rest that
remaineth,' mentioned in the 4th chapter, or the perfection of the present
dispensation of the Gospel in the millennial state.... Also there is
taught us, though but incidentally, the end of His incarnation to destroy
death and him that hath the power of death, and deliver us from the fear
and bondage of death. Let us enter into faith, my dear wife, and be
delivered from the blow which death hath brought us.... Also He took our
flesh that we might be assured of our oneness; that we might be able to
give ourselves to the hope of His glory, He did first join himself to the
reality of our humility. My discourse was a view of the doctrine of the
Epistle to the Galatians, introductory to discourses upon Gal., ii., 19,
20.... This introduction, sum of doctrine, and threefold argument embraced
the whole Epistle, which I had thus digested into my discourse, with
application of each branch of the argument to the present times and all
times; but I was able to deliver only about a half of it, and withal our
service reached to within a quarter of two. My evening chapter was the
21st of Genesis, when I felt my mouth opened in a remarkable way to bear
testimony to the want of faith in this generation, who would embrace the
heavens and the earth, and the truth and majesty of God, within the
nutshell of their own intellect, and believe in God not a hair's-breadth
beyond their intellectual sight-which, adopted by children as scholars,
would destroy the school-by subjects, would destroy government; and, in
short, that these sacred things all hang together, and must sink or swim
with faith.... I was much strengthened in this discourse, and in both my
prayers... Mr. E was there morning and evening. The Lord add that youth
to His Church! I travail for him. Farewell, dear Isabella. You can not
have so much pleasure in reading these as I have in writing them. The
blessing of the Lord be with my babe-my tender babe. The blessing of the
Lord be with her mother -her tempted but victorious mother.... " Monday,
7th November. Though wearied, my dearest Isabella, with a day of much
activity, and afterward with the exposition of that blessed Psalm, this
night's lesson, and now with much discourse and discussion to James P ,
whom I like exceedingly, and William Hamilton, all concerning the
subordination of the sensual or visible, and the intellectual or knowable,
to the spiritual or redeemable (the first giving the typography, the
second giving the method, and the last the substance of all true and
excellent discourse), I do now sit down with true spiritual delight to
commune with my soul's sweet mate. Yea, hath not the Lord made us for one
another, and by his providence united us to one another, against many
fiery trials and terrible delusions of Satan? And, as you yourself
observed, has he not over again wedded us, far more closely than in any
joy, by our late tribulation, and the burial of our lovely Edward, our
holy first-born, who gave up the ghost in order to make his father and
mother one, and expiate the discords and divisions of their souls? Dear
spirit, thou dearest spirit which doth tenant heaven, this is the mystery
of thy burial on the wedding-day* of thy parents, to make them forqver
one. Oh, and thou shalt be sanctified, God blessing, by such a concord and
harmony of soul as hath not often blessed the earth since Eden was
forfeited by sin. My wife, this is not poetry, this is not imagination
which I write; it is truth, rely upon it, it is truth that lovely Edward
hath been the sweet offering of peace between us forever; and so, when we
meet in heaven, he shall be as the priest who joined us-the child of
months being one hundred years old. Let my dear wife be comforted by these
thoughts of her true love. I found much sweet meditation upon my bed last
night; and when I awoke in the morning He was with me, and I had much
countenance of the Lord in my secret devotions; and when I descended found
Mr. T , the preacher, and Mr. Bull met in the breakfast parlor, and Mr. P
seated in the library. That preacher is very clever, and infinitely
prolific in his vein, and that no contemptible one but volatile and wild
as the winds, yet musical in his mirth, and full of heartiness and
goodwill. But he serveth joyaunce of the mind, and has not yoked himself
to any workmanship; and I have accordingly exhorted him to be about his
Master's work-to get him down into the battle, and take his post. Mr. Bull
brought me a very sweet frontispiece, which he has executed for
Montgomery's Psalmist, one of Collins's series.... As usual, his bashful,
meek company was very sweet to me. "When they went, Miss N came, who can
believe none, and would intellectualize every thing, and consequently
looks for her religious prosperity in expedients of the intellectual or
visible world, or in means, as they call them (but, Isabella, nothing is a
means of grace in which Christ is not seen to be present, whence he is
called the Mediator or mean-creator), which, I told her, I could no Ionger
indulge her in by framing my discourse to her subtleties, but would read
her the Word of God, to which, if she framed her mind by faith, then it
would be well; but if not, she must utterly perish. After which reading of
the 103d Psalm, being moved in my spirit with love to her, I pronounced
over her, without rising, a prayer which made her weep abundantly-tears, *
This much-lamented child was buried on the 14th of October, the second
anniversary of their marriage. I trust, which may by God's grace reap joy
hereafter. She says I have demolished all the glory of her building, and
she stands as upon a ruin of herself. I say unto you, Miss N , Christ can
alone build up and mould your shattered mind to the similitude of His own
mind. You see, my dear, what boldness the Lord is endowing me with....
What clean, black villainy, what unwrinkled villainy, there was upon those
countenances I met in Saffron Hill and Field Lane on my way to the Bible
Society, where, among others, I saw the face of Father Simon, looking with
all its eager unrest; and there being nothing of importance to detain me,
I came away with the old worthy, and held such discourse with him as the
Strand heareth not oft, until we reached the Temple, whither he entered to
his business, and I returned to the city to dine with Mr. IDinwiddie and
Wm. Hamilton; and on my way, having found a receiving-house, I committed
your letter to the care of the post. But, ah! forgot the blessing or
prayer for its safe arrival, so doth the rust of custom corrode the frame
of our piety. Life should be a web of piety; custom makes it a web of
impiety. My dear, we must be redeemed in all things from wickedness to
serve the living God. Having dined with my friends, I proceeded at three
to visit Mr. David, who had yesterday a relapse, and is this day very low.
The surgeon apprehended no danger; but I know not how it is, I fear we are
going to lose him. His soul is winged with faith: let it take its flight.
He also is my son in the Gospel. I could not see him, but we lifted up our
hearts together for his health and salvation. Then I proceeded to Mrs. T
; and now, my dear, learn a lesson of spiritual life, and let me learn
what I am now to teach thee. This sweet mother, whom I greatly love, said
to me,'All darkness, all darkness; what if it should have been all
self-deception?' That is, the Lord was shaking His saint out of the last
refuge of Satan, which he takes in the righteousness which hath been
wrought in us by the Holy Spirit. As Knox said on his death-bed,'The enemy
has been trying me with representations of the work which has been done by
me.'... " From thence I proceeded to the Session, where we proceeded with
good harmony and union till they came to speak of time, and then I told
them they must talk no more to me concerning the ministry of the Word, for
I would submit to no authority in that matter but the authority of the
Church, from which also I would take liberty to appeal if it gainsaid my
conscience. I am resolved that two hours and a half I will have the
privilege of. WVrite me your judgment in this matter.... We had another
meeting, at seven, of the congregation... So I returned, and one o'clock
sounding in my ear from Pancras church, I bid you farewell for the night,
and pray the Lord to bless you, and our little treasure, and her who hath
joined herself to our house, and hath a right to the share of its
blessings. Farewell, my spouse I " Wednesday, 9th November. I sit down, my
dearest, after a day of languishing and mourning, rather more cheerful and
refreshed than I have deserved to be; for, whether from defective sleep or
overfatigue yesterday, I have been very dead and lifeless all day long,
until the evening roused me to some spiritual exercises. Satan could not
have had this occasion against me but for my own most blameworthy conduct
in preferring man before God in the services of the morning; for, having
promised to take James P down to Bedford Square to breakfast, I hurried
over both my private and family worship. Now this is such infinite
irreverence done unto the majesty of heaven, that I know not how any
stronger proof of want of faith could be found.... When we returned from
Mr. M 's, I endeavored to seek the Lord in my closet, but found Him not.
He hid His countenance, and my heart was left to the bitterness of being
alone. I took to the reading of the 3d chapter of Hebrews, in the
original, with a view to pasture for my people; and afterward to the 22d
of Genesis, with the same end in view, of which I have been able to make
out eight verses. I wish to read the Sabbath lessons, at least, in the
Hebrew, and to make both lessons a diligent study through the week, with
Pool's' Synopsis' before me; and I have besought the Lord, as I do now
again beseech Him, that I may continue in this righteous and dutiful
custom. In the Hebrew, it would perhaps be an entertainment to your heart
to accompany me, that we may not be divided in this study when we meet
again. But I forget that you have the dear babe to watch over; for whom,
my dear, let our souls be exercised rather than for the dead. Oh, let us
wrestle with God for her soul, that she may not be caught away from us at
unawares. I wish she were here, that I might in my arms present her to the
Lord every morning and evening. Your letter gave me great delight, and
came to cheer me in my spiritual mourning. The Lord continue to support
your soul, and to be your portion! Oh, how blessed has been thy death, my
beloved, to thy parents' souls! thou first-fruits of our union, and
peace-offering of our family, dearly-beloved child, who never frowned on
any one, and never fretted, but moaned the approach of that enemy which
was to bereave us of thee I... "I sought to begin the discourse on
Galatians, ii., 19, whose object it will be to show that an outward law is
always a sign of bondage, and that the inward willingness is liberty,
which a Divine indwelling spirit can alone beget and maintain within us.
Pray that I may be enabled to handle this mighty theme to the glory of God
and the promotion of the Redeemer's kingdom; for it calls upon all that is
within me, and I shall have this and the following week to give to it....
Too many cares of philanthropy, dear, are as seductive as any other cares;
it is divinity which alone can sustain philanthropy. ltut a divine is
become like a phcenix. We know one, but he is near in ashes, and who is to
arise in his stead, I know not.... After leaving the study, Mr. P and I
walked together.... At six, I had the visit of another child of my
ministry, Miss Miller, in whom I found a very humble and sweet spirit,
thoroughly, as I trust, convinced of sin, and purged of her sin. After
conversing and praying with her, I went out to Mr. and Mrs. Hall, at their
own request, to open the subject of the* communion to their souls, when I
set it forth by the parable of the prodigal son. That at baptism we had
obtained our freedom in our Father's house, who ever since had divided to
us our portion of gifts, graces, and opportunities, which we had
prodigally squandered; but, taking pity on us, IHe doth keep open table in
His house, in order to welcome every one who hath a longing to return. He
breaketh bread and poureth out wine, the body and blood of His Son's
sacrifice, for every one who will come, as the prodigal came, heartily
repenting, and humbly confessing his sin. This, therefore, is what I
desire-the sense of sin, and the faith that it is to be forgiven only
through the blood of Christ. For the enlightening of the mind, for the
convincing of the heart, and the converting of the whole soul, it is the
work of the Holy Spirit, who is the gift of Christ to His weak but
faithful disciples. Oh, dearest, how profitable is that mystery of the
Trinity to my soul! The husband and wife heard me with tears. I trust
these are tokens for good. The Lord enable them to retain upon their souls
those feelings toward Him which they this night expressed to me. By these
exercises my spirit was restored. The Lord hath restored my soul, and I
was able to comfort the family with the 42d Psalm, and I trust to
encourage my own spirit..... Now, the blessing of the Lord rest upon my
wife, and child, and servant this night, who have not separated, I, know,
without commending me to the Lord! Thus do we unite our interests on high,
and lay in our proofs and pledges of mutual love with our heavenly
Father.... Farewell! "Thursday, 10th November, 1825. I pray the Lord so to
quicken my love to my dear wife, and so to move my soul with the spirit of
truth and wisdom, as that I shall much comfort and edify her by the words
which I am about to write. Yesterday I so wore myself out with the various
duties I had to discharge, that I was hardly able to do the offices of
family worship, and, in utter inability, forewent my sweet interview of
faith with my Isabella; no, not of faith, but of these visible emblems of
faith, for the interview of the spirit I truly had with you.... I have
fulfilled your commission to Mrs. Hall, who received your gift with much
thankfulness. Our maid is now gone, and we are a very happy, and, I trust,
contented household. In the church last night I opened the real contents
of the new covenant (Hebrews, viii., 10, to the end) to the young
communicants, who are about to enter by the proper form to the renewal of
it; for you will observe, dearest, that there was a renewal of the
covenant when the children of Israel entered into the land of promise, as
there is to us: first, the granting it at baptism to the faith of our
parents; and, again, the renewal of it over the sacrifice of our own
faith. Now these contracts are, 1st, the law within, and no longer
without, that is, liberty of soul to obey God, instead of restraint of
fear; 2d, the ruling of God over us, and our subjection to Him in all
willingness; 3d, the teaching of His spirit in all His revelations; 4, the
absolution of all our sinfulness through Christ's atonement. The first
being the conversion of our will; the second, the maintenance of our
weakness; the third, the enlightening of our knowledge; the fourth, the
purging of our conscience from all fear. What an inheritance, my dear
wife, is this to which you, and I, and all believers are admitted! Let us
enter it, let us enter into it. Why can we not enter into the willingness,
the confirmation, the enlightening, the peace of it? We canl not enter in
by reason of unbelief. Now encourage one another, I pray you, for the time
is short. " This morning we mustered a goodly company, though it was the
stormiest morning almost I remember; three missionaries from the Mission
House, our broad-faced Wiirtemberg friend, so dear to us all, and a
countryman, and an East Indian, half-caste, preparing for his return to
preach to the Hindoos. They tell me there are at present two of their
countrymen at St. Petersburg fulfilling to the letter our Lord's
instructions to his disciples. I have a very strong purpose of sending
over to all the Mission Houses copies of my Orations for the sake of the
youth; and to this effect of ordering Hamilton to send me all that are not
sold, and desiring him to transmit the proceeds of the sale which there
has been to the widow of Smith. Tell me what you think of this. The German
missionaries at Karass soon found out the unproductiveness of Scottish
prudence when applied to propagate the Gospel,-and are fast recurring to
the primitive method on the confines of Persia, where they at present
labor. They speak of a great revival in the Prussian kingdom; more than a
hundred young preachers have gone forth from the Universities to preach
the Gospel. The Lord prosper his work! To-morrow a number of young
missionaries are to receive their instructions at a public meeting in
Freemason's Hall, and they are to set out for Malta some time this month.
The Lord is their helper. I took occasion, from the 51st Psalm, to speak
to them of the qualifications there referred to.... After their departure,
I addressed myself to my sweet studies of reading the lessons of the day,
and meditating the lessons of Sabbath in the original tongues....
Afterward I betook myself to my lecture on Christ's attendants and
sustenance in his ministry, Luke, viii., 2, 3, which is a subject of great
importance and fruitfulness, if the Lord see it good to open it to me by
His Spirit, which I do now earnestly pray. James and I, after dinner (we
have now got the wine-cellar open, and I have ordered Hall a bottle of
Madeira to strengthen him), went down to Bedford Square, where I had a
good deal of profitable conversation with our dear friends. But before I
went out I received a parcel,... in which was a fine lace cap and wrought
robe for our dear departed boy;... our darling hath now a more precious
robe than can be wrought by the daughters of a duke; yet it is a sweet and
honorable token of their love. I have written to tell them whither the
object of their love is gone... Our little boy! thou art incorporated with
my memory dearly, with my hope thou art incorporated still more dearly. We
will come, when our Lord doth call, to thee and to the general assembly of
the first-born. Oh, Isabella, I exhort thee to be diligent in thy prayers
for thee and me! "Friday, Ilt November. I have just dismissed Mrs. Hall,
my dear Isabella, to set into the study to-morrow morning a slice of bread
and glass of water, purposing to keep myself alone for meditation, and I
pray the Lord that he would give us both a heart full of divine thoughts
and holy purposes.... Mr. Hamilton is a great comfort to me; I may say of
him, as Paul says of Mark, that he is helpful to me for the ministry,
literally delivering me of all secular cares. But I must proceed in order.
When we were at our morning worship, Mr. O slipped in, with his slow and
canny foot, in order to seek introductions to Scotland, which I would not
give; for, though I am enough satisfied with him for the rule of charity,
I have no sufficient evidence upon which to commend him to another.
Indeed, I would be suspicious of his favor-seeking and power-hunting if I
were not satisfied it is universal, and that he may have caught it by
infection, not generated it in his own constitution; but, ah! it is a
weakening disease, however caught. When I had dismissed him, I read the 3d
chapter of John in the original, and studied the latter half of the 3d
chapter of the Hebrews with a diligent reference to the parallel
scriptures; and in studying that chapter it will help you to know
that'even as Moses in all his house' is not to be understood foses,' but
God's house, the house of' Him who appointed him,' as you will see by
referring to the passage in Numbers, of which it is the quotation; the
whole argument being to sot Moses forth, not as having a house of his own,
but as a servant in the house which Christ had ordered, and to which, in
due time, IHe came as the heir to claim and inherit His own. That idea of
the Church, under the similitude of a house, is constant in the New
Testament, derived, I take it, from the Temple, which was a type of the
Church; and I have no doubt that'In my Father's house are many mansions,'
means the Church in which he prepared a place for his apostles, by sending
to them His Holy Spirit, so that thenceforth they became its foundation
stones.'We are made partakers with Christ if we hold fast the beginning of
our confidence steadfast unto the end,' refers to Christ's coming in the
end to occupy His house, when all His people shall share with Him in His
kingdom, which He himself sets forth by the same similitude of a
householder who went into a far country, and in the mean time gave his
servants their several charges. We are these servants; let us be found
faithful, and when He comes we shall be made partakers or sharers with
Him. After these studies in divinity I relieved my mind by reading a
portion of the Convocation Book which treated of our Lord's respect to
those who sat in Moses' seat, presenting this feature of His obedience in
very meek and true colors. Oh, how I have offended herein, making myself a
judge instead of a minister of the Church i and yet I know not how
otherwise to proceed when all things are manifestly so out of square. I do
pray earnestly that the Lord would keep me manly in the regulation of the
censorious part of my spirit; for I have this day, and immediately after
the perusal of the above, written a lecture upon the simple and unprovided
faith in which our Lord made His rounds of the ministry, arguing thence
the spirit in which His ministers should stand affected toward the
provisions of this life, and should receive them; wherein I have not
crupled to declare the whole counsel of God, but I know not whether in the
right spirit. "This also has occupied m |
